


closing the distance

by sapphic_commander



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gay tension, I have too much free time on my hands, Kissing, Pre-Canon, catradora, my favorite lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:00:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphic_commander/pseuds/sapphic_commander
Summary: Three times Catra and Adora almost kiss.Two times they actually do.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> uhm yeah so I thought of this is math class

Adora would never forget the first time it happened.

She would remember it on sleepless nights when Catra lay at her feet, her breath whistling through her nose. 

She would remember it in Bright Moon when she could only stare at the canopy of her bed, the sound of the waterfall in her room unable to drown out the noise in her head. 

She would remember it when she stared in the mirror, looking over her shoulder at the white scars on her back, marks Catra herself made. 

They were alone, sitting on the ledge that jutted out above the Freight Zone. The sun was setting, and they had gone out to take a breather before they went to bed. It had been a long day of training, but Catra insisted they go outside at least once before the day was over. 

Adora was leaning against the metal barrier that prevented them from falling, head propped up by her elbows. 

Catra sat beside her, sitting on top of the railing, her legs swinging carelessly over the edge. 

Adora tilted her head sideways to admire the girl, stifling a smile that automatically came to her lips. 

Catra’s hair was glowing in the sun, half-lidded eyes glinting. Her jaw created a jutting shadow against her neck, accentuating the sharpness of her chin. 

When she looked close enough, Adora could see every speck of blue and green in her eyes, the flecks of gray and brown, the slight dilation of her pupils as she turned to meet Adora’s eyes. 

“What?” Catra asked, breaking the silence. “You’re staring.” She flicked her tail, purposefully swatting Adora in the nose. 

“Sorry,” Adora said, breaking out of her trance. She blinked, turning to face the setting sun. “I zoned out. Training really wore me out.” 

Catra groaned, rolling her eyes. 

“Same. I swear, the superior today had a vengeance.”

“I know! I almost died in the warm-up alone.” Catra giggled, the sound echoing across the metal.

“Please. You barely broke a sweat.” Reaching down, she wrapped her clawed fingers around Adora’s bicep and squeezed. Adora shivered a little at the contact. “I mean, look how buff you are. Those thirty push-ups were nothing for you.” 

Adora smiled, ducking her head to hide the way her cheeks colored at the complement. 

“Yeah, well I don’t have the agility you do. I mean, look at you sitting on that ledge. I would fall right off.” 

Catra shook her head. 

“I bet not. You have a strong core.” Adora twisted her lips in disagreement, but said nothing. “C’mon,” Catra continued, patting the metal beside her. “Try.”

Adora’s eyes widened, and she shook her head. 

“No way. I’m not gonna risk breaking a bone.” Catra wrinkled her nose. 

“You’ll be _fine_. I’ll help you.” Adora hesitated, and Catra leaned over to push her shoulder. “Don’t be a scaredy-cat. Is our squad’s most promising cadet really afraid of heights?”

Adora bristled, immediately straightening. If anything, Catra really knew how to get her to do something.

“Of course not,” she said, already placing her hands on the railing to swing herself up. 

Catra stopped her by placing a hand on her chest.

“Wait, wait. You’re doing it wrong.” Catra grinned as Adora frowned, pretending to be upset. “That eager to prove me wrong, huh?”

“Because you _are_ wrong. I’m not afraid of heights,” Adora responded, jutting her chin out and crossing her arms over her chest dramatically. 

“Sure, sure.” Catra tapped the rail, gesturing for Adora to put her hands there again. Catra adjusted her spacing a bit, her fingers a feather-light touch over Adora’s knuckles. “Good. Now, just swing one leg over, and then once you balance yourself, you can swing the other one.” 

Adora hesitated, and Catra raised her eyebrows teasingly. 

Taking a deep breath, Adora lifted her knee, using the strength in her arms and one leg to pull herself up. 

For a split second, she landed perfectly, sitting to face Catra with one leg dangling over open air, the other safely situated on the metal floor to her left. 

But then, she began to slip sideways, and her left foot wasn’t touching the ground anymore.

She squeezed her fingers tighter, but the metal was slick and cool beneath her palms, and it slid out from beneath her. 

Adora opened her mouth, fear seizing her throat and chest. 

A warm hand gripped her waist, claws digging into her ribs as Catra righted her, the rush of vertigo fading. 

Adora let out a sigh of relief, opening her eyes, which she had closed in her panic. 

“Tha-” The words died in her throat. 

Catra had pulled her closer after catching her, and her shoulder was pressed against Adora’s chest.

Her chin was tilted up so they could meet eyes, her lips mere inches away. 

A slight wind stirred Adora’s hair, and for a moment, she felt a surge of an emotion she couldn’t quite name. 

It felt like butterflies in her stomach, but also a kind of fire she wasn’t used to. 

She felt hungry for something. Something she couldn't name. There was a warm desire, pushing her to _do something do something do something about it!_

She wanted to unfreeze and close the gap between them. 

She wanted to achieve something _more_.

This was very different. Not unwelcome, but an emotion out of place, yet so _right_.

It felt like her blood was buzzing in her ears, and her heart was threatening to burst from her chest.

Deep inside her, something tingled, a stirring in her stomach. 

And then, Catra licked her lips, and the movement seemed to break them out of the fog. 

The surrounding world came rushing in, Adora’s tunnel vision widening as she shifted back, putting her weight on her hands to swing her other leg over. 

For a split-second, there was an awkwardness between them, something they hadn’t quite experienced before.

But then-

“You’re such a big oaf,” Catra said teasingly. Adora yelped, swatting her shoulder. 

“I am _not_!”

“You wish you had half my grace and elegance,” Catra continued, pitching her voice up to mock a noble accent. She jumped up, walking the railing like a tightrope, looking back to smirk.

Adora smiled, rolling her eyes. 

She pushed the feeling away, deep down. At least for now.

She didn’t know what it was. She didn’t need to know. 

Things were perfect just the way they were.

That didn’t need to change.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter two! this one is from Catra's POV, I decided to switch it up each chapter (so the next one will be Adora and the final one will be Catra)

Catra would occasionally reminisce over this moment, sometimes in her dreams, sometimes when she would sit alone in the spot she and Adora used to watch the sun set. 

Mostly, she would think about it when she had alone time, between battle planning and orders and force captain duties. That was when she would sit on Adora’s old bed, when the room was empty and the cadets were in training.

She would look at the claw marks she made in the mattress and the metal, the marred drawings she and Adora had made when they were little.

Catra’s crudely drawn smile had been slashed through, and now it resembled the beasts they had been told hunted in the Whispering Woods. 

Catra would draw her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and try to keep the tears gathering in her eyes from spilling over. 

_It meant nothing_ she would tell herself. 

_Look where we are now._

It had been a late night, another hard day of training. 

Catra and Adora had stayed up, whispering and laughing, gossiping about snippets of conversations they had heard from their superiors. 

Eventually, during a lapse in conversation, Adora must have fallen asleep, with her head resting against Catra’s shoulder. 

Catra looked over, smiling a little at the peaceful expression on her friend’s face. 

In the dark, Adora practically glowed, her skin smooth and bright. The arch of her brow was elegant, the curve of her lips almost inviting. 

Catra shook off the thought, slightly unnerved by the way it had easily slipped to the forefront of her mind. 

It was fine. It certainly meant nothing. 

Adora was beautiful, there was no denying it. The way the wisps of hair that fell from her ponytail framed her face, the way her smile was bright and easygoing, the way she still somehow looked attractive during training in that one gray tank top, when her cheeks were red and she was panting and sweat glistened on her forehead-

_Stop it, stop it, stop it_ Catra chided herself. _What a dumb thought to have. I shouldn’t be going all soft on Adora._

She was just observing it. As a friend. 

There was nothing wrong with that, as long as there were no bad intentions behind it.

Catra flicked her ears back, as if to physically dispel the entire mental conversation. 

_Just an observation. Nothing more._

Carefully, she placed her hand on the small of Adora’s back, lowering her down onto the stiff mattress they always slept on. 

Catra took the rumpled blanket they had set to the side and laid it over Adora’s form, gently tucking it around the edges. 

Adora sighed a bit, shifting to the side, and then going still. 

Slowly, Catra laid down beside her, their bodies pressed against each other in the small space. A piece of Adora’s hair had fallen over her face, and Catra was so close that it tickled her nose.

For a moment, Catra hesitated.

It was fine. No one was awake, not even Adora.

No one would see this. 

Catra reached forward and tucked the hair back into place, allowing herself to run her hands through the soft golden strands. 

She did it gently, reverently, careful not to snag her fingers on any knots or tangles. 

Today had been a wash day, and Adora smelled of strawberries and peach, a sweet, comforting scent. 

Catra could hear her soft breaths _whooshing_ out of her nose, could feel the warm air against her cheek. Adora’s breathing was calming, rhythmic. 

Something overcame her, and Catra felt warmth pooling in the pit of her stomach. Almost by instinct, she found herself pressing closer, putting her arm over Adora’s shoulder to hold her. 

Their foreheads were touching now, their hair creating a curtain around both of their faces. 

Sometimes, she thought that looking at Adora was like looking at the stars. When you were stargazing, and you tried to make out all the constellations, tried to map and connect the dots to form one, coherent image.

When you looked at her, a sort of peace settled over you, but at the same time, a yearning. You felt one with the endless space, with the bright, winking lights in the sky, but you also felt horribly disconnected when you realized how far you were, how much distance stretched between you.

It felt as though you could reach up and touch the stars, but when you put your hand up and really tried, it was impossible. 

Sometimes you would think, _how could I only see this raw beauty now? How do I not look at the stars this way_ every _night? How could I forget this lovely, nostalgic, endless feeling when I look away, when I go about whatever tasks I have to do during the day?_

_Does everyone see them this way? Wild and untouchable but so close and so familiar?_

_Does everyone look at the stars?_

_Why wouldn't they?_

How _couldn't they?_

Adora’s made a soft, unintelligible murmuring sound, and her eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes tickling Catra’s cheek.

Catra pulled back, removing her arm, not wanting to startle her (and, if she was honest, not wanting Adora to realize how close Catra had been, how soft she was in her presence).

For a moment, they simply stared at each other. 

Adora gave a sleepy smile, and Catra smiled back. 

She seemed to be searching Catra’s face for something, and though the smile faded after a few seconds, there was still a tenderness to her. 

Now, here, with them alone, she looked untouched and beautiful and mysterious, like a treasure waiting to be uncovered.

But Catra didn’t want to discover this treasure out of greed or selfishness.

She wanted it because it deserved to be worshipped and seen and admired. 

This treasure called to her, pulled her in and captivated her. 

Catra felt she could dirty it simply with her touch. 

Adora reached over, smoothing a piece of Catra’s uniform, which had wrinkled at the base of her neck. Her fingers brushed against sensitive area, leaving a tingling sensation. It felt like her touch had awoken something, something powerful. 

Catra’s lips parted, and she exhaled softly. 

She could see Adora swallow, throat bobbing. 

The warmth in her stomach became a throbbing _need_ , and her fingers twitched. 

Catra tilted her head to the side a bit, leaning forward.

Again, their foreheads were touching and they were _almost_ almost there, and they were both breathing faster now and they were pressing closer and Catra’s hand was wrapped around Adora and then it was sliding up up up to the nape of her neck and her skin was warm and soft and their lips were _so close_ and-

Lonnie, on the top bunk to their right, rolled over, muttering in her sleep.

In a flash, Catra and Adora pulled apart, bodies rigid. 

For a moment, they stared at each other, eyes wide, and expressions confused.

The warmth in Catra’s stomach was replaced by a yawning hole, the bitter taste of disappointment filling her mouth. 

Adora blinked, looking as torn as Catra felt. 

For a moment, there was a horrible silence, a horrible distance between them.

Then, surprising Catra, she adjusted the blanket and lifted the edge, beckoning her forward. 

Relief filled Catra so quickly it was dizzying, and she scooted forward to fill the space, rolling over so that they weren’t facing each other anymore. 

“Goodnight, Catra,” Adora murmured, her breath warm against her neck. 

Catra swallowed at the way the slight rasp to her voice made the throbbing need return, and she dug her fingers into the palm of her hand. 

“Goodnight, Adora,” she whispered back, closing her eyes and forcing sleep to come and wash away her worries. 

_What we have doesn’t need to change_ Catra told herself over and over as she drifted off. 

_Things are perfect just the way they are._

_You can look at the stars, but you can never, ever, touch them._

_They are unreachable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! I will be updating every Thursday :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for posting this a day late! i try my hardest to stay on schedule so I don't keep people waiting, and I'll be on schedule next week. This was a longer chapter so it took more time to complete and I was a bit unmotivated.
> 
> tw: blood (at the very end)

Anytime the specific memory of this moment popped up in Adora’s head, she had to physically shake herself to get it out.

It made her cheeks burn in embarrassment, her teeth grind together. 

It made her feel ashamed. 

Adora trained a lot at Brightmoon. She wouldn’t tell Bow and Glimmer how often, because she knew they would fuss and insist she rest and pester her about it.

Sometimes, she would go out to a hidden area in the gardens, or she would stay in her room, opening a window to ensure it didn’t get too hot.

At night, maybe on a rare occasion during the day, Adora would go to the training rooms. There were targets and weapons, armor and weights, everything you could need.

Adora liked the staffs. They were a familiar weight in her hand, and they also helped her better her movements with her sword.

The one issue was, she couldn’t use them without recalling the memory that made her want to slam her head into a wall over and over. 

Afterwards, she would always train for longer, her anxiety over the reminder spilling over until she would punch and hit the dummies for thirty minutes without rest, until her arms ached and she didn’t have the energy to worry. 

She and Catra had been alone in one of the many training rooms, very similar to the ones at Brightmoon.

Adora had taken a moment to re-do her ponytail, as some of the strands had fallen out and were getting in her eyes. She had looked up into the mirror of her locker, only to see the reflection of Catra swinging her staff gently against the back of the dummy’s legs, a half-hearted attempt at an exercise they had learned earlier that day. This was a new technique that was much more efficient and swift in disabling the enemy. 

It was casual, a little movement stemming from boredom, Adora assumed, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself.

“You’re doing that wrong, you know,” she said, without turning. Catra glanced over, giving a pointed look. 

“Oh yeah? Care to teach me, miss perfectionist?” she replied teasingly. There was a slight tinge of annoyance in her voice, but Adora couldn’t tell if that was her being sarcastic, or if she was genuinely upset. 

Adora shrugged, slamming her locker shut.

“I mean, the assessment is soon, and-” Adora hesitated, glancing around, the familiar fear of getting in trouble making her pause. “And Shadow Weaver will have a fit if your stance isn’t right.”

Catra’s mouth twisted into a scowl, her brow furrowing. “She won’t like anything I have to do anyway. She’ll probably fail me just for fun.” Adora shook her head, though she couldn’t deny the claim. 

“Don’t you want her to see how capable you are? Don’t you want her to see how much she underestimates you?” Catra was silent for a moment, glaring at the wall so fiercely Adora was surprised the room didn’t burst into flames. 

“I guess,” she replied, voice tight. 

Adora could tell that she had said the wrong thing, and she winced. If anything, that would make Catra even more stubborn. Right now, she would probably prefer to spite Shadow Weaver rather than make an attempt to please her. 

“Listen, don’t even worry about her for now,” Adora amended. “Just think of this as training for the day you finally beat Octavia up.” At that, Catra brightened. 

“Oh, well in that case.” She gestured towards the dummy, raising her eyebrows. Adora snorted, rolling her eyes. 

“Ok well, you know the stance.” Catra nodded, widening her feet and bending her knees, sinking lower into the familiar posture they always started off in when it came to using their staffs. 

Adora didn’t bother studying her to make sure she was doing it right. Their superiors had made sure they could do it in their sleep by the time they were eight. 

Adora made Catra demonstrate the exercise a few times, then began correcting her, sliding her hands further up the staff and widening the distance between them.

Catra tried again, the dummy rattling due to the force of her swing. 

“Almost there, you just have to swing a bit lower. Right now you’re hitting above the knee, and the goal is to hit the actual back of the knee, near the bottom. It’s much more likely to make the enemy’s legs give out. Here, let me show you.”

Adora stepped up so that she was behind Catra, her hands hovering over each of Catra’s forearms. 

“Uh, I have to-”

“It’s fine,” Catra said quickly, her voice slightly pitched up. “Go ahead.” Adora nodded, self conscious of the way her heart thudded in her chest, leaving her feeling flustered and jittery.

She closed her fingers around the area of Catra’s elbows, her chin a few inches away from the crook of her neck. 

Slowly, she guided Catra’s arms back, getting ready to swing, and after a few seconds of sizing up the dummy, she pushed her arms a bit lower. “There.” 

She let go of Catra and gestured forward, waiting for her to swing. 

When Catra hit the dummy, she hit her mark perfectly, and Adora whooped.

Catra grinned, turning around, her canines glinting. 

“Now would you look at that,” Adora said. “You could _almost_ beat me.” Catra raised her eyebrows.

“Almost? I would say I could best any of your hits.” Her tail flicked, a smug look painted on her face. She was _begging_ for a challenge.

“Oh yeah?” Adora snatched a staff from the rack. “You’ll have to prove it.” Catra’s smile widened, and she shifted her weight backwards, immediately springing forward. 

Adora leapt forward to meet her, their staffs meeting with a resounding _clang_. Upon contact, red electricity crackled to life on the bars, raising the hair on Adora’s arms and charging the air. 

Catra swung her staff in an arc, and Adora quickly rolled away, springing to her feet. The staffs weren’t meant to harm, and being touched by them never hurt, simply left an odd, tingly sensation on the skin. 

Adora went on the defensive, advancing with quick blows, while Catra darted forward at any chance of an opening. It became a sort of dance, each of them weaving out of the other’s range, ducking and rolling and jumping on their toes. 

“Awwww, Adora,” Catra purred, barely out of breath. “It seems you’re having trouble winning your title.” She spun her staff in her hands, a blur of motion.

Adora jabbed forward, missing by mere centimeters, and Catra sidestepped in graceful little hops. 

“It seems you are too,” Adora responded, smiling. Catra narrowed her eyes, and then spun forward, using the momentum of her body to swing her arm out, as if intending to smack Adora in the chest.

Adora leaned back, the staff grazing over her so closely she could hear it snapping through the air, feel the wind against her face. 

Quickly, she snatched Catra’s wrist, twisting it so that her staff clattered to the floor. 

Catra slipped out of her grasp easily, and as Adora struggled to catch her balance, she recovered and grabbed her weapon again. 

“You’re going to have to try harder than that,” she said, already lunging forward. 

Adora quickly blocked her blow, but they were locked in a grapple, each of them pushing against the other. Adora crouched lower, straining her arms, while she saw Catra shift to allow her core to take some of the weight. 

Catra was panting a little, her lips parted to gulp in air, and there was an intense look in her eyes that was always there when they were training. Her claws were curled tightly around her staff, her elegant fingers in a white-knuckled grip. 

Adora gritted her teeth, shoulders aching. 

“You know,” she gasped, “I’m gonna be so sore later.”

Catra grinned wickedly, leaning closer. 

“Courtesy of Yours Truly,” she said proudly, lifting her chin.

For a moment, Adora’s concentration faltered as she was swallowed by the hunger that had become more familiar to her, hot and bright and _wanting_.

The lilt of Catra’s voice, her suggesting tone of voice as she said that, the crooked smile.

The burning in her eyes, the fire that Adora knew was mirrored in her own.

_Do it, do it, do it,_ the traitorous part of her mind whispered. _You know you want this. You hunger for it, every night in your dreams and every waking hour of the day and even now._

Adora wavered, and she swallowed. 

Catra’s eyes were dark, dark and wanting. Desire was practically written on her face.

And with a flash of clarity, Adora finally allowed herself to realize what she had known all along.

Catra wanted her.

And she wanted Catra. 

Adora clenched her jaw as she nearly lost her footing, her heels digging into the floor. Catra smirked, her narrowed eyes glinting. Adora felt a pulse in her stomach at that look, and she almost, _almost_ lost control of herself. 

Before she could even chide herself, Catra hooked her foot behind Adora’s, pulling her legs out from under her, while simultaneously shoving her in the chest to tip her backwards. 

_Oh shit._

They both toppled towards the floor, hitting the mats with a dull _thud._ Adora took a shuddering breath, gasping as she tried to recover.

“I win,” Catra purred, her breath warm against Adora’s ear. 

She shivered, and it felt like her heart was going to stop in her chest. Warm desire tugged at her stomach.

Catra drew back, still straddling Adora, a smug smile playing at her lips.

“Well?” she prompted, reaching forward to tap a slender finger against Adora’s lips, definitely harder than she needed to. 

The fire that seemed to consume her from the inside out was making it hard to think, and Adora felt sluggish, thoughts only half-forming in her mind before they dissipated.

“I- Yeah. You win,” she stammered, her voice coming out squeakier than intended. Catra raised her eyebrows.

“That was easier than anticipated,” Catra murmured. She leaned closer. “I was expecting more of a fight coming from you.”

_Oh God,_ Adora’s brain managed. _Oh wow._

Great. Lovely productive thoughts that were certainly not helping her right now. 

“Maybe I let you win,” Adora retorted. Catra gave her a knowing look. She still hadn’t moved to get off of Adora, and she was still only inches away.

“I know you didn’t. You hesitated. What happened?” Catra’s breath was hot on Adora’s face, and she blinked as her eyes watered. “What were you thinking about?” 

_You._

_Wanting you._

_Having you._

_Being yours._

The words caught in her throat, and Adora only managed to swallow again. 

“I was- I-” Catra shifted a little against her hips, tilting her head, and Adora bit back a yelp. 

_Oh, she knows what she's doing._

“Yes?” Catra breathed, her hand drifting down to settle on Adora's collarbone.

_Yes. Yup. She's very aware of what she's doing._

Adora felt that if either of them spoke too loudly, she would be shattered to pieces in a single moment. 

Adora opened her mouth, but before she could reply, a cold, chilling voice cut in.

“Girls.” Catra leapt up in less than a second, her features arranged into a cool stare. Adora blushed furiously, ducking her head.

Shadow Weaver had emerged from the shadows, hovering by the entrance. Her piercing gaze pinned them down, calculating and angry.

How long had she been standing there, watching, waiting?

How much had she seen?

Shadow Weaver narrowed her eyes. 

“Training?” she said finally, her voice clipped. 

“Yes,” Adora muttered. “Extra practice.” She pushed herself up into a standing position, straightening her back, lifting her chin. She didn’t want the sorceress to see how flustered she was. 

Still, there was no hiding the redness of her cheeks. 

“I see,” Shadow Weaver drawled. She cocked her head, lifting her hand, gesturing for Adora to come closer.

Swallowing, she obeyed, stepping closer. Her heart thrummed in her chest, and she tried to slow her breathing. 

Shadow Weaver studied her for a moment, and Adora felt in that moment she knew all her secrets, her thoughts and worries and fears. She felt dissected, like someone on an exam table

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver hummed, a sickly-sweet crooning sound. A cold, slimy sensation crawled up Adora’s spine. “You must try harder.” 

“Ma'am?” Adora inquired, trying to keep her voice from quavering. “You mean in training?” Shadow Weaver didn't reply, instead reaching forward to tilt Adora’s chin up higher, her fingernails digging into her skin. 

She was held in place that way for several long moments, the sorceress looking her up and down like goods she planned to barter on. 

“You, my most promising cadet, were beaten by…” Shadow Weaver’s gaze flicked over Adora’s shoulder. It was difficult to tell with the mask, but she seemed to glower even harder. “ _Her_. I know you can do better,” she said disdainfully. 

Adora bit the inside of her cheek, trying to avoid imagining the look of hurt that was probably on Catra’s face. 

“Yes ma’am,” she said quietly. Shadow Weaver leaned forward, her darkness closing in around them, a wall of dark magic. Her hand tightened, a bone-crushing grip that prevented Adora from going anywhere, from even avoiding her eyes. Adora’s breath hitched in her throat, panic tightening in her chest. Distantly, she heard Catra make a sound of protest.

“I allow her here because she motivates you, because she is a _companion_ ,” Shadow Weaver hissed angrily. “But, if she becomes an obstruction, if she gets in the way of your duties, I will dispose of her.” 

Adora blinked as her eyes stung, tears rising unbidden. 

_Not Catra. I won’t let them touch her._

_I have to protect her._

“I cannot have you bested by a measly little thing like Catra. If you are unable to fulfill the simple task of fending her off while sparring, perhaps I should rethink your future position as Force Captain.” Adora was locked in the sorceress’ glare, and she nodded meekly. 

“I will not have you _weakened_ by her,” Shadow Weaver spat out. “Do not let this happen again.” 

Adora understood the underlying message well enough. She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to steel herself. 

_Protect Catra._

_Disagree, and she’ll be punished in your place._

_Go along with it._

“Of course. I won’t disappoint you again.”

“I should hope not,” Shadow Weaver said coldly. She drew back, and the shadows receded back into place. 

Catra was still standing in place, frozen, her eyes trained on Adora, who was trying her hardest not to shake. 

Shadow Weaver turned to Catra. “Girl,” she snapped “when you knock someone down, at least try to keep your balance. It was a pathetic attempt.” 

With that, she turned and glided out of the room.

They were left in stifling silence, and if felt like the walls were pressing in on Adora.

“Catra,” she said. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t see-” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Catra interrupted, her eyes hard and angry. Her body had gone still, too still, her back stiff. “She got her chance to insult me, and it’s over now. I’m sure you won’t let me _weaken_ you again.”

Adora winced. She crossed towards her, gently reaching to touch her shoulder. 

“I should have defended you. I was afraid. I’m sorry.”

Catra shrugged her off, turning to leave.

“I should go. I wouldn’t want to corrupt you.” As she began to walk out, Adora caught her wrist.

“No!” she exclaimed, desperation clear in her voice. Catra furrowed her brow, startled, but she stopped. 

Adora exhaled slowly. “No. Please don’t go. You know I don’t believe anything Shadow Weaver says. I didn’t- I didn’t want her to hurt you if I protested. I wanted to protect you.” Catra’s eyes narrowed, and Adora knew she had to tread carefully. “Still, I was wrong to sit there in silence.” Adora bit her lip, suddenly nauseous at the prospect of Catra walking away from her.

_What if she never forgives me? What if she's had enough of me?_

_Did she feel what I felt too?_

_Was I imagining it all?_

“I’m so sorry.” 

Catra was silent for a moment, but then her shoulders slumped, and she seemed to deflate. 

“It’s alright. It’s not your fault.” She smiled a little, some of her confident demeanor returning. “That old hag is just jealous you and I have friends. She’ll be alone for the rest of her life.”

Adora gasped, then burst out laughing. 

The tension fizzled out, and together, after putting the staffs away, they returned to their bunks for lights out.

But, that night, Adora lay awake staring into the darkness. Shadow Weaver’s voice echoed in her head. 

_I will dispose of her._

She sat up, studying Catra for a moment. She was curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed, as usual. Her sides rose and fell steadily, her expression peaceful in her sleep.

Catra had the power to undo her. She could unravel Adora with a set of words, pull at her with a smirk, melt her with soft eyes. 

Again, the warmth in Adora’s stomach rose, and she knew she didn’t have the will to push it down, to get rid of it. Catra would always call to her. She knew that, deep down. 

Adora wasn't about to stop being friends with her. That, she would never allow Shadow Weaver to get between.

They would always be friends. They would always be safe, together.

_I will not have you weakened by her._

She would simply have to learn to ignore the burning that made her want more. 

Shame still crawled under her skin, keeping sleep at an arm's length, and Adora knew her mind would not quiet. 

And so, in the dead of night, Adora crept out of the door, into the dark halls. 

She snuck to the training room, and with tears streaming down her face, with sobs nobody could hear in the empty room, she punched and kicked and hit.

_You're supposed to be the strong one. You should have controlled yourself._

Sweat slicked her back, and blisters developed on her hands, and still she kept going. They popped and blood covered her palms, the burning sensation welcoming amongst the haze of nothingness she felt. 

_Shadow Weaver is disappointed._

_Work harder._

_Work harder._

_Work harder._

_Work harder._

_Be better._

She worked until she collapsed, and even then, as she fell to the floor, her ponytail undone, hair spilling in front of her eyes and sticking to the wetness on her cheeks, the shadowy voice slithered in the depths of her mind. 

_Do not let this happen again._

Adora wouldn’t. She would not put Catra at risk of Shadow Weaver’s wrath again. 

So from then on, she pushed her feelings down, ignored the warmth and the tug and the desire. 

_I will dispose of her._

Adora had made her decision.

_I will protect her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! unlike the other chapters this one was less soft, I hope it was a nice change. I didn't want to get too repetitive.
> 
> don't get me wrong, I'm all for Catra being a bottom, but when it came to sparring I feel she would be very cocky 
> 
> everyone say it with me, SCREW SHADOW WEAVER


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the final chapter! I really enjoyed writing this, and thank you for the support!
> 
> These moments are more canon (well at least the second one is), with pt1 from episode 1 of season 1, and pt2 from the final episode in season 5 (in the heart of etheria scene). I decided to go with both POVs for this chapter, so GUESS WHAT ya'll are gonna get two kisses, the first one from Adora's POV and the second from Catra's POV. 
> 
> yes, I know, I'm very generous :))))

As Adora crept from the dorms, she felt guilt tugging at her, and she bit her lip. 

_I have to figure out what the sword is. I have to find it._

She didn’t know why, but she just _knew_ she had to see that bright glow again, knew she had to touch the golden hilt of the weapon. 

She didn’t know what those flashes had been, what she had seen, but Adora felt the urge to find out more. The only way she could do that was by going back. 

She would sneak out, get the sword, and return before anyone knew she was gone. It was simple, really. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Adora jumped, whirling around to see Catra approaching her. Her hair was mussed from sleep, eyes bleary, and Adora stifled an amused smile. 

“Back to the woods. There’s something I need to figure out.” Catra’s eyes widened, and she stepped closer. 

“What?” she yelped. “You’re not-”

Adora leapt forward to clap her hand over Catra’s mouth, who let out a muffled sound of protest, pulling them into the shadows as a surveillance bot rolled past them. It paused, its red lights blinking, and then proceeded down the hall. 

After waiting for a moment, she dropped her hand, but didn’t move away. Their shoulders were brushing, faces close. 

“What is wrong with you?” Catra hissed. “You’ve been acting weird since we got back.” Adora began to roll her eyes, but then Catra’s hands cupped her face, and the girl squinted, as if trying to find some invisible answer in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re not brain damaged?”

Adora’s cheeks heated, and she quickly batted Catra’s hands away, grabbing her wrists to push them down.

“Look Catra, I know I saw something out there. I just- I just need to get another look. It feels… important somehow.” Catra studied her for a moment, and then she grinned mischievously. 

“Sounds good. Let’s go.” Catra began walking forward, but Adora tightened her grip on her wrists, pulling her back. 

“No!” she whisper-yelled. “I don’t want you getting in trouble on my behalf.” 

Catra stilled, and she tilted her head. “Is this about what Shadow Weaver said?” she asked quietly, downcast. 

Adora tensed, clenching her jaw. She didn’t answer, instead avoiding Catra’s knowing look. Sometimes it was almost irritating how well the girl could read her. 

“You shouldn’t let her control you, you know,” Catra continued, her eyes narrowed, anger radiating off of her. “You can’t just let her manipulate you like this. You’re such- you’re such an easy target for her!”

Adora dropped Catra’s hands as if she had been burned, defiance shooting through her. 

“I am not!” she retorted. “Just because I’m trying to protect you doesn’t mean I’m easily fooled by Shadow Weaver. I’m keeping you safe this way!”

Catra scoffed, shaking her head. 

“You’re not protecting me by isolating yourself! You’re not protecting me by pretending what we have doesn’t exist!” Catra began to turn away, her frustration dissipating. “You can’t ignore this forever, Adora,” she said, softer this time, a sadness to her voice. 

_I will dispose of her._

Adora wrestled with herself, and she tasted blood as she bit down on her tongue. 

_Catra said it herself. I’m not protecting her by doing this._

_I promised I would protect her._

_But if Shadow Weaver hurts her it will be_ my _fault._

“You think that giving in is weakness, but you’re making yourself weak by letting her get to you,” Catra whispered, her eyes bright with tears.

_But I’m already hurting her._

_Right now, by letting her walk away, I will hurt her._

_And I’ll keep hurting her if I don’t decide._

Adora remembered a promise she had made, long ago.

_“Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise.”_

In that moment, Adora made a decision. 

_Together._

She grabbed Catra by the wrist, pulling her into the shadows again, and kissed her. 

It was gentle really, the softest brush of lips. For a moment, Catra stiffened, and Adora began to pull away, afraid she had crossed a line. 

But as she leaned back, Catra leaned forward, deepening the kiss. 

Their lips crashed together, and it almost could have been painful if Adora hadn’t been so overtaken by delight. Her body filled with warm pleasure, her mind a whirl of thoughts she couldn’t grasp. 

Adora had certainly thought about what kissing would feel like, and her mind would take that thought and bring Catra into it, like she was connected to every want Adora had ever had. 

She would think _what would someone feel like against me, touching me, pleasured by me?_

Unavoidably, she would think of Catra’s rough lips beneath her, the texture of her furred skin and the tangle of her hair and the smirk she always wore.

She would think of her hips against Adora’s, of her glinting eyes and her slender fingers, and then she would shake the thought from her mind, cheeks burning, because Catra was her friend, and what an odd thing to think about.

Now, it wasn’t an unconscious thought. Now it was reality. And it was so much better than she had imagined. 

It felt like she had gone mad, something unlocked within her that screamed _more, more, more, more!_ Adora obeyed the voice, pressing closer, her lips parting for a moment as she gasped for air.

Catra took the opportunity to lightly nip at Adora’s bottom lip, the sensation releasing an explosion of desire that made Adora hiss out a breath. 

Adora wound her fingers into Catra’s hair, tugging her head back to kiss along the edge of her jaw. Catra let out a soft sigh, and Adora shivered at the sound. 

And then their lips were meeting again, and they were a tangle of hands and hair and warmth and desire, with Adora pushing Catra up against the wall and Catra gasping and then kissing her harder and _more more more_. 

After a few more moments, they pulled apart, breathless. 

“Took you long enough,” Catra said, her voice husky. The words tickled against the base of Adora’s throat, and she hummed in pleasure. 

Catra looked up, trailing her finger’s up Adora’s spine. She swallowed as heat pulsed in her stomach, and Catra smirked. Her lips were red and swollen, and Adora was sure she looked about the same, her hair mussed and her cheeks a rosy color. 

“I assume you’re still going to the woods?” Catra sighed. Adora nodded, and she shook her head, a rueful smile lifting the corners of her lips. “You’re impossible when you set your mind to things.” 

“Listen,” Adora said. “It’ll be a quick trip. I need you to stay here to cover for me just in case, and you know Shadow Weaver will have your head if you come with me.” Catra frowned, and Adora quickly continued. “We can’t give her any excuses to do something bad. Not if we want to do this.”

Catra hesitated, and then to Adora’s surprise, she nodded.

“Don’t take too long,” she said, grinning. “I’ll be waiting.” Her tone was suggestive, and Adora blushed. Catra laughed at her flustered expression. “I’ll never get tired of that.” 

Adora shoved her gently, taking a step back. An ache started in her chest, a sort of guilt again.

_I’ll be back,_ she told herself. _I’ll be back before anyone notices, before Catra can even miss me._

For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to say what she should have been able to. Words of reassurance caught in her throat, and she couldn't push them out.

_Just tell her you'll be back before training tomorrow._ But she couldn't. It felt wrong, like a lie. 

She shook herself internally. _Don’t be silly._

_You and Catra will go to training together. You’ll eat breakfast and laugh and talk and argue about dumb things._

_And maybe, just maybe, you can pull her into a dark closet and kiss again._ The idea sent a thrill down her spine, but Adora couldn’t shake the odd feeling she had about leaving. Still, she kept her worries to herself, and instead, she squeezed Catra’s hand once before letting go. 

With a small smile, she backed out of the hall, towards where they kept the skiffs. 

“Goodbye, Catra.” 

Adora left, and she did not come back.

The next time she and Catra would see each other was in a burning town, with air that tasted of ash, a heavy cloak that draped over their shoulders, pulling them down with it. 

Adora would never forget the incredulous look on Catra’s face, the hurt in her eyes. The sky had been tainted purple with smoke, and it shadowed Catra’s face, her puzzled expression turning to one of anger. 

Catra would never forget the way Adora carried herself, as if she had lived for a hundred years and seen a thousand deaths. Although she glowed, her hair shifting in the air, she carried a new burden with her, a dark one, and Catra could see how it costed her. 

That encounter left Catra wondering, _did that kiss mean something? Was it nothing, just another adventure for her, another goal to achieve?_

_Am_ I _nothing to her?_

When Catra did not come with her, when she stayed with the Horde, Adora doubted too. _Did that kiss do for her what it did for me?_ she kept asking herself. _Would she truly give that up for a place that has only ever hurt her?_

_She would choose_ them _over_ me _?_

They had both been betrayed, and though they both stuffed the memory into the corners of their minds, for they had other things to worry about, both of them would never forget the memory only they shared. 

The two would never stop feeling hungry for the other. 

************************************************************************

“You love me?” Adora asked, disbelieving. Catra laughed tearfully. 

“You’re such an idiot.” But, when she looked back down, her eyes widened. Adora was looking at her with the same longing she had before, years ago when they were in the Horde.

Catra had thought that was long gone. She had thought that her hurtful actions had thrown it all away, that she had ruined it, and that despite Adora’s reassurances, things would never be how they had been.

Now, Catra saw the truth.

“I love you too,” Adora murmured softly, smiling. 

Catra felt tears spill over, and carefully, reverently, she placed her hand on the back of Adora’s head, propping her up. Her hair was soft, as always, a few pieces framing her face.

Catra leaned down, their noses brushing, and kissed her. 

Their first kiss had been desperate really, a result of years of pent up longing. The first had been harsh, almost aggressive.

This kiss was much gentler, more loving. As their lips met, their chests pressing together, Catra felt warmth cocoon them, a little bubble only they shared. It washed over her, igniting her in a way she had never felt before. Catra’s brow furrowed, and she broke away, squinting in the light that enveloped them.

“Oh,” she said faintly. The Heart radiated magic, and Catra could see the green veins that had once marred the stone fading away.

Adora was glowing, and her hair looked like a golden halo, flowing in the air like a river of fortune. 

She looked like a fallen angel, an ethereal being that could ruin you and restore you with one touch. 

Adora grinned, and Catra laughed in disbelief, leaning down to press their foreheads together. 

“Do you always feel the need to show off?” Catra asked teasingly. Adora reached up to cup her cheek, her expression so soft Catra thought she could melt. 

“Show off? This is simply my natural state. Why, do I look particularly breathtaking?” Adora replied, feigning confusion. Catra smiled, nodding.

“Oh yes,” she breathed, and then they were kissing again.

Adora tasted of everything she had imagined and more.

Catra had thought about it before, when they were young cadets and there were tense moments and close encounters.

She had thought about it at night, when Adora was sleeping, and Catra had all the time and privacy in the world to simply admire her, to trace every curve of her lips and every line on her face with her eyes. 

She had thought about it when staring into the cracked mirror in her private quarters as a force captain, thought about it when she dug her claws into Adora’s skin in battle.

She hadn’t truly thought about it during their first kiss. She’d been so overtaken by the desire thrumming through her body, the pleasure that filled her, that she hadn’t taken the time to think, to savor. 

This time, she did. 

Adora tasted like honey and earth, like sea spray and moss, but in the best way possible. 

There was a tang of salt from their tears coloring the sweetness, but Catra didn’t mind. Adora tasted so _real_.

It was humbling, grounding, but it also made Catra feel like she could float off of the planet and never notice or even care. 

Catra could have sat there and explored her forever. 

For once, even though her body was buzzing with energy and her hands shook, she felt settled into her own skin. 

Her blood was singing, and the fire in her stomach was burning bright, not singeing her, simply warming her. 

She felt right. 

_This_ was right. 

She would never tire of the feeling of Adora’s hand cupping her face, so loving and adoring that Catra wanted to cry and scream and laugh at the same time. 

She settled for a choked sob, and Adora pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” Adora asked, gently rubbing her thumb across Catra’s cheek.

“Nothing,” Catra whispered, and she meant it. “Nothing is wrong. Because I’m here with you, and we’re together, just like we’ve always belonged.” Adora smiled.

“I knew you’d be a hopeless romantic,” she murmured, and Catra laughed, but then Adora’s lips were swallowing the sound, and Catra tilted her head to meet her. 

After Adora had left the Horde, Catra had resented herself for allowing such weakness, for letting herself be exposed to the pain of betrayal. She had thought that it was a mistake, that she had imagined their shared desire, and she would live to hate Adora for the rest of her days.

She had been wrong.

This was the beginning of a love so infinite it was more powerful than the both of them.

Catra would have been content to crumble beneath it and never resurface. 

And so, she allowed herself to succumb to Adora’s body and lips and taste, allowed herself to be vulnerable and open and _weak_ , because if that was what it took to love, she would make the sacrifice over and over again.

This was something she would never regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a good ending and it lived up to your expectations! thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! I'm planning on updating within about a week, most likely next Saturday, not entirely sure though.


End file.
